Crazy Cat Lady
When I grow old, I shall have a room of my own, An exquisite, spacious cottage In a place where it snows. I shall live in the countryside, And wear vintage clothes. With big red boots And a hat that doesn't go. And I shall never wed, Nor have any children of my own. No debts to blood or bone I stand unclaimed by lineage or stone. I'll live with my furry familiars instead, They shall be named Freddie and Major Tom. Their emerald eyes haunting windows and stairs Or leering down from the ivory palm. I shall not labour night and day, Trying to hide my earned age To please the eye of feckless men, I step from mirrors, spell-cleaned from their ken. They'll call me loud, unkempt, unwise, The strange old witch with fire-bright eyes They'll whisper "Mad—she's mad, that one," As frost retreats and springtime comes. In summer I'll plant a modest bed, With heather, sage, and thyme, And sing to blossoms like past lovers While I sip my burgundy wine. And if some man...